DOWN IN FRONT: “Blue Crush”

The best part of going to see “Blue Crush” was that I got to sit in an air-conditioned theater for two hours. Other than that, this movie was about as exciting as reading out-of-date magazines in the waiting room at the dentist’s office.

Blond beauty Kate Bosworth plays Anne Marie, a Hawaii native whose lofty ambition in life is to win a surfing contest without drowning or having her head caved in on the razor-sharp coral reef. Having been abandoned by her mother, she is charged with taking care of her rebellious 14-year-old sister, a job she takes so seriously that she divides her time evenly between surfing and visiting her pro-football player boyfriend’s hotel room. How romantic!

We’re supposed to feel sorry for her because she can’t pay the bills, but she ends up with a millionaire boyfriend and she rents a beachfront house. She drives a beat-up 1950s era car. Have you ever noticed how no one in the movies drives a regular car? Even the poverty-stricken have vintage automobiles.

The movie follows the sports movie formula pioneered by “Rock

DAN’S GRADE: D A: MUST SEE B: WORTH WATCHING C: RENT IT D: POOR F: WICKED BAD

y.” We watch her train, do chin-ups, practice surfing maneuvers. We listen as she is lectured and yelled at by her coach and roommate, fellow surfer Eden (Michelle Rodriguez of “The Fast and the Furious”). She has to weigh her desire to win the competition against her fear of getting killed by the largest waves moviegoers have seen since “Perfect Storm.”

The problem is, we’ve all seen this formula too many times, and no one really wonders how it’s going to turn out.

While Bosworth and Rodriguez make the most of their roles, the other actors are about as talented as card-board cut-outs. Dialogue is limited to stuff like “Paddle, paddle!” and “Them’s some killer waves!”

The surfing sequences are beautifully filmed, but there’s nothing here that you couldn’t see on the Travel Channel’s beach week.
The general rule is that if you go to a movie with low expectations, you’ll end up liking it, and if your expectations are too high, the film will disappoint. However, this movie, which I dreaded all week, managed to live down to my expectations.

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