Formal weddings require invitation etiquette

     In the wake of e-mail, instant messages and the like, formal writing, in many cases, has gone by the wayside. Rarely are people addressed by proper names, even in the corporate climate.

     However, for a wedding, it is commonplace and appropriate to dust off the etiquette rules book and word invitations with a formal flair -- particularly if you are celebrating with a formal affair. Remember, an invitation serves as a visual statement of the tone of your wedding. The weight of the paper, the wording, the font and the color all provide clues as to what type of event you will be hosting. A cream, white or ivory invitation on a heavyweight card stock, a Roman font, and engraving all denote a formal wedding ceremony.

 Invitation Wording

     Traditionally, invitations are issued by those who are hosting the event (who are financially responsible for the wedding). In years past, the parents of the bride customarily hosted the wedding and, as such, issued invitations. Today, many couples choose to pay for most, if not all, of the wedding and, therefore, it can be proper for them to issue the invitations themselves. In all cases, the invitation should be written in the third person. Here are some sample wedding invitation phrases particular to the respective hosts or hostesses involved:

     1. Bride’s Parents:

     Mr. & Mrs. John Smith

     request the honour of your presence

     at the marriage of their daughter

     Jennifer Marie Smith

     to

     Mr. David Peter Stevenson

     2. Bride’s Parents with Groom’s Parents Included:

     Mr. & Mrs. John Smith

     request the honour of your presence

     at the marriage of their daughter

     Jennifer Marie Smith

     to

     Mr. David Peter Stevenson

     son of

     Mr. & Mrs. Robert Stevenson

     3. Both Families Hosting:

     Mr. & Mrs. John Smith

     and

     Mr. & Mrs. Robert Stevenson

     request the honour of your presence

     at the marriage of

     Jennifer Marie Smith

     to

     Mr. David Peter Stevenson

     4. Honoring a Deceased Parent:

     Mrs. John Smith

     requests the honour of your presence

     at the marriage of her daughter

     Jennifer Marie Smith

     (Also daughter to the late Mr. John Smith)

     to

     Mr. David Peter Stevenson

     5. Bride and Groom Hosting

     The honour of your presence is requested at the wedding of

     Jennifer Marie Smith

     to

     Mr. David Peter Stevenson

Envelopes

     Once invitations are received, the task of addressing them to recipients awaits. Formality should carry through on the envelopes as well, meaning all invitations should be hand-addressed or professionally calligraphed. Mailing labels or typewritten envelopes are not used in a formal wedding.

     In most cases, the invitation itself is inserted within an inner envelope. On this envelope, you can write the informal name of the recipients, e.g. Aunt Jane and Uncle Frank. This inner envelope is then placed within a larger mailing envelope. On the outer envelope, use only the formal names of the recipients, e.g. Mr. and Mrs. Francis Jones.

     Here are some other tips concerning addressing envelopes:

     * Abbreviations: Do not use abbreviations, except for Mr., Mrs. or Ms.

     * Doctors: The word “Doctor” should always be written out, except when the doctor is the wife of the invited couple. Then write: Mr. Joseph Wilton and Dr. Amanda Wilton.

     * Attorneys: When Esq. follows the name of an attorney, Mr. or Mrs. shouldn’t proceed the individual’s name, e.g. Albert Anthony Roberts, Esq.

     * Unmarried Couples: List each invitee on a separate line:

     Mr. Andrew Callaway

     Ms. Deborah St. James

     * Widowed Woman: Use her married name:

     Mrs. Raymond Clark

     -- From Metro Newspaper Service